Although everything is connected it does not always seem or feel so. When it comes to love, it is a journey, rather it is a rollercoaster with exhilarating highs and suffocating lows. So when it feels like love is waning, when it feels like the sparks are not as intense as they once were, there are a few things you can do. If you both practice the same spiritual form, then you can meditate together. However, the most honest and unfiltered communication between a couple often happens in the bedroom.
It is in the most intimate moments when looking into your partner’s eyes that you can feel that intangible connection. Here is one way you can reconnect with your partner during a sexual union. Doing this will connect you on a physical level but also on a more profound level. It begins with being aware of each other’s existence. Weird, I know. How can I not be aware of her or him? He is obviously here. What I mean is that you both realize that you are more than a physical body, that you do not know exactly what else there is and that is okay, even exciting. Decide that you want to explore the unknown together, that you want to get to know each other’s true being or each other’s essence. Little by little changes will happen in the relationship.
Connect to your partner’s inner sexuality with your hands by using them to please him or her. Your hands are very sensitive and full of energy. Your hands are constantly flowing with the warm energy of your heart. There are direct energy lines that carry what you have in your heart to your very fingertips. Find the love and passion, the compassion and admiration you feel for you partner, and let it radiate from your heart outwards. You don’t even have to try so hard. Connecting with your partner is more instinctual than planning it out. A strong desire with unknown origins is enough to set off an expedition into the wondrous throes of pleasure and it can yield much knowledge. Use your arousal, your mind and fantasies, to your advantage before sex to explore different aspects of your partner. Once you find your partner in the other room, you’ll be charged with sexual energy and ready to experience more profound sex.
Using your hands, work your way around and about your partner’s body gently, following the organic flow of your desire and of his or her hints. Move slowly, very slowly to the intimate areas. If you go directly to the breasts or vagina, she will feel neglected and her arousal won’t match your own. If you go directly to his penis he may feel the same and his sexual energy may be released before either of you wish. Using your touch focuses your eyes and mind, it brings awareness to your partner’s body. In this way, you can appreciate each other more, notice things that you hadn’t noticed before. These details are what build up over time to cause that feeling of deep connectedness with another. You don’t have to have grand transformational visions or epiphanies, feeling each other is enough.
There are different intensities of touch, brush you hands across his chest, touch only your fingertips on her neck, pinch to give him or her a little surprise. Just feel the motions of your partner’s body and feel how he or she expresses himself or herself. Changing how you touch and the pace at which you touch causes different sensations. Breathing quickens or slows depending on how hard you squeeze her. She feels more comforted and safe if your touch is gentle. He might get even more aroused if your hold is firmer. Likewise, a soft, lingering brush of your fingertips on his shoulders can comfort him, thus prolonging the union.
Once orgasm is reached, calm the energies and complete the unification by placing your hand over the mons pubis. This will cam her energy. This is also a way of keeping the energy within and of transferring love to your partner. Whatever flow you both fall into, your hands are the direct and most engaging way of beginning a profound union.