Twin Souls: When Reunion Doesn’t Happen

wpid-unsplash_women-in-green_ykvgswa.jpg.jpegThe idea and hope of the twin soul relationship is that there be a reunion, reunion being the establishment of the relationship for good with no more separation cycles. But, sometimes, reunion doesn’t happen. Why the twins do not reunite depends on the couple, some are only meant to meet, love, learn, and separate.

After separation, there is pain, confusion, and fear. The thing is, the twins unite everything about themselves. Whether they are physically united or spiritually united, the twins combine into each other. Twins become one. And when they separate there is chaos within them, because suddenly a part of themselves is missing…again.

There is a severe disorientation and a desperation to run back to each other, to return to what is familiar. And when that is not possible, it is painful, like something tearing deep within. The twins can feel their souls tearing, separating. Their souls are literally tearing inside of them, their energies are separating, their consciousness are separating. It is as much a physical event as a spiritual event. Some might get physically ill after a separation, like a cold, a fever, or stomach issues, fatigue, basically small ailments.

The twin soul relationship adds depth to reality, but it also reveals the superficiality and ephemeral aspects of life. Twins learn the value of love while also learning about the transient nature of all relationships. If the twins manage to learn more spiritual knowledge, they may realize the meaning of life; the true meaning of life, not just their own. All this knowledge changes perspective, changes what is real and meaningful, and as long as the twins are together in some form of a relationship, these hard and cold truths are bearable. Friendships are not so important when with the twin because the twin fills up all of the space in the heart of the other. The twin become friend, lover, guide, teacher, and foe.

Separation forces each twin to face the world on their own with their newly found knowledge. Not only that, but each twin is now changed. They are not the same as when the relationship first started and that is the problem. The twins will be confused, they won’t know what to do. It is like being lost, being in an unfamiliar city with no family or friends, and not being able to ask for directions because you don’t know where you are going. Soon after, or immediately after, separation everything will feel empty. The twins will feel empty inside. Though they are not empty within, the missing part of the other will feel like a gaping hole inside. What makes it more difficult is that though the twins are separating or separated, their pain will be multiplied because the other is also suffering. They will still feel each other’s pain until the separation is complete. It is a process that can take days or weeks, or even months. Some might react to the whole situation with anger. A twin might feel angry with himself or herself, with the world, or with the Gods/God, and with the twin. Life will seem like a chore. It will not have meaning; it’s just something you have to do.

And then the questions begin, the doubts may double. Was it ever real? Are twins a thing? Did I really experience all of that? Each twin will have to find the strength within to figure out the answers and to find their way back to themselves.




Published by Melissa

A writer surviving in the gritty chaos.

24 thoughts on “Twin Souls: When Reunion Doesn’t Happen

  1. Jesus, it’s like everything you said makes complete sense. I hope you keep writing, you’re a pretty good writer. It’s been about 2 years and I still think about everything, especially when I’m drunk as hell. I don’t even know if it was a genuine separation or just wishful thinking on my part. I’m not even sure anymore because the meeting was a total mess and I had nobody to rely on, not her, not my family, not even friends. We ended on a sour note, and talked a whole lot of shit but the worst part is nobody meant to hurt anybody.I’m not even sure if she thinks about me anymore, I hate to admit it but I always think about her. How do you even find peace, after all of this. I look at relationships and see how superficial they are, not even sure what is the point anymore after meeting a soulmate that doesn’t recognize me. I mean my life could be much worse,but I feel nobody would even understand how much this changed me on a bitter/negative standpoint. Oh they say, a twin flame will never hurt you, blah blah blah….it was only a karmic/ false twin…blah blah, you know what fuck them, I’m just a living shell at this point.

    1. Hey Sadcatintherain, I’m very happy that you found this helpful and thanks for the compliment, it means a lot. And thank you for sharing your experience. I’m sorry you’re having a tough time.

      This is the frustrating and common misconception people have and perpetuate about twin souls. The twin soul is THE ONE that can hurt you the most. But many do not understand this type of relationship because they have not experienced it and they are just repeating and rewriting what they read. The other thing is that twins are usually alone in their journey. Twins are old souls that have the strength within them to stand alone in the world without depending on each other, and life will force them to do so. I cannot tell you for sure if you did meet your twin soul, you have to figure it out on your own, or perhaps you already have.

      Think of the signs and spiritual aspect of it all, without the spiritual elements then it is a soul mate relationship. If it had been a near twin then you two would have been exact opposites and there would have been a lot of conflict even including the spiritual aspects. Think of it this way: near twins=polar opposites that attract while twin souls=perfect halves of a whole.

      I understand perfectly what you mean about seeing the truth in relationships and honestly, it extends to everything else in life until it all becomes depressingly meaningless; nothing will ever be the same, it is like knowing too much, knowing the truth behind reality and being disappointed. That is the truth, life is fleeting, relationships are fleeting, and we meet each other for only moments and reasons to serve a purpose: knowledge (inner knowledge about life and love). Coming to terms with these things takes time and pain, because these are the hidden truths of life. So, don’t lose hope and the reason you feel like an empty shell is because you are lonely and angry, and these things, these emotions and energies, are draining, but it does not mean that you are empty. It is like not knowing how to get to your own home, but you must remember that you used to know the way. Find peace by accepting the situation and focusing on going back to yourself. You must’ve had something you loved to do before meeting her, something that made you excited to wake up everyday, and if you didn’t then you need to focus on finding it. Once you begin to work on getting your true self out you will begin to feel better. The change can be felt in a few days or weeks, but it will happen if you choose so.


      1. Thanks, I’ll definitely keep that in mind. After the first year, I was pretty destroyed and couldn’t confide with anybody because I didn’t want to be diagnosed with schizophrenia, because I stopped seeing things I classified as signs and was concerned that I might just be obsessed or have erotomania. This year is doing well, but the moment a misfortune happens….it always bring me back, where I felt I lost almost everything. I do want to get back to my hobbies as I’ve always been an artsy fartsy empathetic person.That moment where you feel like the universe is trying to hint at you, telling you you’ve known this person or maybe even (loved) this person before in this life as well as in the past even if you are complete strangers, I will never forget. But at the same time the same pain of having them leave you again or you leaving them is indescribable because you already saw it coming like a mile away. Hopefully those that experience these connections find peace, but it is so hard though. But I want to surrender I truly do. I remember when I was pretty upset about something at school, and thinking negatively about her and all my regrets about life and “Don’t look back in Anger” by Oasis starts playing as the first song on my radio. But yes, thanks again. I will try to find true-self and hopefully get my head together. Looking forward to see any off your future post, if you do decide to post more. I’m not sure if I’m the only one reading onto twin flames habitually as from an after experience but it has now become apart of me, as denying it just stresses me out. I’m more aware of the runner’s perspective now, but before I couldn’t see how anyone could run away from something so thought provoking or meaningful. In the meanwhile I guess I’ll do some soul searching.

        1. Thanks, I will definitely continue to write, eventually I’ll write a book on the topic.
          Just hang in there, ask the universe for guidance, for help getting you back to you, turn your focus to enlightenment or soul searching, as you say, and you will find that inner strength.

        2. Ha! Funny enough I felt also that I had a mental illness like bipolar or schizo. I also thought I suffered from erotomania because I don’t understand that permanent link, like this person is on my mind 24/7. I don’t find meditation helpfull because I keep dreaming of this person each time I do so. I’m aware that I’m dreaming, I wonder if it means that we are actually meeting in the astral plane.

          1. Hey Sesheta,

            Sorry for the late response…

            Astral meetings are tricky because sometimes it may be the subconscious of the other person; therefore, the person won’t be aware of have met you. Sometimes, dreams manifest because of really strong desires and they may not be astral meetings but wish fulfillments instead. The way to know is by paying attention to the person and how he or she behaves, they way they speak is it something you could come up with or something completely foreign to you?
            It sounds like the meditation is working! However it sounds like you are not aware of how or why, meaning that maybe you are new to meditation? Try a grounding meditation or silence meditation, a meditation where you silence everything. Try having a clear purpose for you meditation and hopefully that will clarify your mind.
            I’ll be posting soon on mental illness and this type of relationship. I’ve only not published the post I am working on because it is a very challenging topic.

            Hope this helps!

            1. Thank you Melissa for replying.

              The dreams are probably a bit of both, I see his life and I have no involvement (family event, work place, going on holiday) and at other times we do interact but I feel it is my wish due to the way he behaves. At the beginning almost 3 years ago when I started dreaming of him, he was the one pushing for contact but now I’m the one pushing more though in reality we have not spoken to each other since we’ve met.

              I really need to re-focus the meditation part, I shy away because I don’t know how to make sense of it.

              I will await your book on mental illness and this relationship, especially on coping mechanisms, that would be so helpful.


            2. Hey Sesheta,
              Keep on meditating and doing what makes you happy.
              Unfortunately, I am not equipped to write a book on mental illness. I will be writing one on twin souls, though.
              Maybe this can help a bit more on the dream front:
              And this post discusses how to distinguish between a regular dream and a spiritual dream. A spiritual dream includes astral projection and communication with others.

              Hope it helps. These are topics I’ll continue to explore.


  2. Please please write again!! Your words are immensely helpful .
    We could never b together and physically never have, except the time I held out my hand and she placed hers in mine … And we stared at each other in shock .. Or the time I walked next to her little son and she was behind me and he held my hand to show me something .. It could never be . The only proof I have of knowing this to b a twin relationship is not from any verbal confirmation from her , her walls were up ,, no ,, the only proof I have is the utter and absolute death of my old self and the spiritual resurrection of a new self of what I am , or what I became up till today … That and the deep deep love I feel for this woman that I barley know … Along with a few synchronisities and events that cannot be rationally explained . But now I feel we have to part and feel it in my spirit , I have to live and provide and overcome this melancholic anxiety and depression … And bare in mind that had God not sent her I’m sure I would have died.. And she has to move on in her way .. I felt the change in my spirit after her mother cornered me and we had a really lengthy and comfortable conversation , not about her daughter , about something quite unrelated.. But people talk with words and also with something else .. I have no doubt she being the mother could read my eyes as clear as day .. And gave her daughter kind and sage direction … And I feel lost and empty , I must now hold my wife who seeing this change and to whom I never lied to about this phenomenon ( but I did spare her some details) , And she acknowledging that she let me go that while ago pledged her support for better or worse , a true soul mate I realize … I realize now the end must come between this ethereal meeting of my twin and me, I know I must pass that final test to love her unconditionally

    1. Oh thank you G for your compliment and for reading, taking the time to share your experiences. It means a lot and I’ll keep writing, someday a book. It makes me very happy when someone finds my work helpful.

      It sounds like you have a very loving and supportive soul mate with you, you are very lucky. Yes, twin souls teach each other about unconditional love for all, whether towards a soul mate or near twin or someone else. But also, twins teach each other about self-love, so find that love for yourself and that is how you will love your twin.

      Try meditation and focusing on grounding yourself, this will get rid of the anxiety and fear, and can eventually bring you answers. I don’t know if you are aware or believe in the chakras, but if you do, meditate, find one that focuses on the root/sacral chakras. Also, the use of quartzes and crystals can help you. You can find a few posts on these topics around here.

      I wish you the best and just keep going, sounds like you know what you are doing, even if sometimes it doesn’t feel like it.


    2. Hi G,

      I happened to find your comment. I was so surprised, because my situation is very similar to yours . I was in the position not suppose to have another relationship, so he and I never had a romantic relationship or deep conversation….

      Although I could see him only once a week or so, every moment was unerasable…..I still can remember the moments clearly when we met the first time, i put my hands over his and i walked behind as looking my son and his backs, his shy smile, etc….

      Even though we spent only few months and barely know each other, i believe that there is a special connection between us from the bottom of my heart.
      and i have undeniable love for this guy. After he disappeared from my life, my feeling should fade away as years passed; rather, it becomes stronger. this love will continue until the end of my life….

      Since I didnt mention twinflame to him, i am not sure whether he feels the same way or this is mere my illusion. however, only continuous synchronicities and occasional telepathic feeling make me believe twinflame possibility.

      now i dont know how much we surrender and ready to reunite; however, if God allows me to across him again, i want to see his smile and hear his voice… .
      until then, I keep sending unconditional love and positive energy to him, so he can reach me again without getting lost.

      Hope you have a wonderful 2017!

  3. Hi Melissa, I’m new here and I like this article because it mentions the good and not so good aspects. I met this person in 2014 after I had a Dark Night of the Soul first, then was in a severe car accident after it. I met him right before I was going back to work and trying to return to myself. He, was on the heels of a bitter divorce and ran because of it. He never explained why he did after I reconnected with him, but my soul knows thats why he did. Hes scared. We lashed out at each other a month ago and parted ways after much confusion, pain, and chasing on my part to no avail. Now I’m empty. I only feel peace when he responds to me like hes my lifeline. He stopped. So now here I am rebuilding a life and moving an hour away out of state. So far the universe has been on my side. I one said to him ” life is a joke.” I’ve never uttered those words to a man before. It scared me. I dont know how he feels, he never told me. But I often role play the day hes comes back, if he does. Either way, I’m preparing myself.

    1. Hey Kymber6,

      Please forgive my woefully late response! I didn’t see your comment and for some reason didn’t receive an alert.

      Thank you for your compliment and for sharing your story.

      I hope you feel better now and are a bit more settled. Concerning the so called Dark Night of the Soul, if you are in a twin soul relationship, even if you are going through a separation cycle, there will be other “dark nights.” These ups and downs are a natural part of life, with or without the twin soul. I’m telling you this so that when things get difficult again, you won’t feel so surprised, though it will always be surprising. The twin soul relationship, and life in general, doesn’t work like this, meaning that it isn’t like passing grade school or graduating from college and then moving on to your career. This relationship is more like running an obstacle course. Sometimes it may feel like you have a boulder chasing you. But whatever happens, you have the ability to overcome it.

      I responded to another comment just below, it may be useful to you too. I’m also writing a post called Twin Souls: The Purpose of Separation Cycles, inspired by your comment and another’s, so stay tuned for that. But quickly I’ll tell you that you need to learn how to be independent from your partner. That emptiness that you feel cannot be filled by anyone, even your twin, only by you. So you must find your own fulfillment free of your twin soul. Each twin must do this. As you work on yourself and fulfilling your true self, he will also advance in his own way (maybe he will focus on himself too). Do not focus on when he will come back and what you will do, it will only make things more difficult and cause more pain. Focus on yourself and doing what completes you, and everything else will begin to fall into place. Prepare yourself not for a partner but for yourself.

      1. Thank you!! I just read this comment sorry! So much has happened since then. But nothing, on a grand scale, has changed. I didn’t see your post about the seperation cycle. Did you write it?

        1. Hey there!

          No worries! And no, I haven’t written it yet. But since you reminded me I am on it now! When it’s published, however, it will not be here but at The blog has moved, rather, is in the middle of moving.


  4. The thing is, whoever ‘invented/created’ the whole TF game, couldn’t have been a terribly loving (or even very intelligent) being for them to insist that great chaos and pain should follow the pair should they not be able to remain together for whatever reason (and there are undoubtedly many valid reasons why they couldn’t).

    Ugh. Gods. Savage creatures. Who needs ’em, right?

    Unless, of course, the whole concept of Twin Flames has been a farcical, human invention from the start and we’ve all just been gullible enough to believe it, despite all the unexplained telepathic connections.

    Or maybe, as a runner, I’m just looking for reasons/excuses to invalidate the whole thing.

    1. Hey G,

      Sounds like you’re going through some really rough stuff. I’m not going to try to convince you of anything, but here is what I can offer, this is how I see things and maybe it can help you. As for Gods, you don’t have to believe in any of them, from any pantheon, to have these experiences. You can be monotheistic. You can even border on atheism. But whatever you believe, do you think that these difficulties are multiplied because of your lack of connection to divinity, both within and without? Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying you’re being punished, that’s not how the universe works, despite people claiming it does and even enjoying the idea of it being so, I’m saying that maybe you haven’t connected enough to your inner divinity to find the strength and answers because of anger and disappointment. Truth is, God, whatever, whoever, and however many there may be, has no obligation to provide proof of its existence and to bend to our whims. Who are we but small infantile creatures screaming for a pacifier? So technically, humanity does not need God, but it certainly makes and has made things beyond difficult. When we approach this life and seek answers with honest humility and respect, that is when everything blossoms.

      Sometimes, because of our pasts (whether we are aware of it or not, whether the past of this life or the culmination of all of our lives) it is hard to believe that good things and unbelievable things can happen to us. And on top of that, modern society has turned away from the spiritual/philosophical/theological aspects of life to focus solely on consuming and on science that believing in these experiences is grounds for mockery, even from the self. (I’m not saying science is bad, I love keeping up on tech advancements and everything that has to do with space, but there is no balance between science and the philosophical/spiritual and this is causing a disconnect in many.) But you sound like you are experiencing these odd things and are totally not enjoying it.

      It is possible to reject the twin soul connection. Not all the twins reunite. As for the great chaos and pain part you are referring to, I don’t quite agree. So, if I’m understanding you clearly, you are saying that if the twins do not reunite and do not stay together, then they will be made to suffer through chaos and pain? No, as far as I know, this is not how the twin soul relationship works. There are so many ways to look at this, so many possibilities, that I don’t even know where to begin. And even then, we won’t have all the answers, because that is just not possible in human form.

      But let’s try some points:

      First point is that in the twin soul relationship the harder you try to be together, the more you try to force things, the further away from each other you get and the more painful things become. Cycles of separation are part of the relationship process because you need to learn how to be independent from each other even after knowing who you are to each other, meaning after becoming aware of the oneness you both embody. These cycles of separation may last years, it really depends on each relationship. Why some writers on this topic claim that the cycle lasts five years or two to three years is beyond me, because I know that I cannot tell anybody for certain how long separation will last and I know that everyone is on different life cycles (which affect everything), so I know there cannot be a one-fits-all path to this relationship. And maybe, this misinformation may be adding to your frustration, which is why I always tell you guys that you must find the answers within.

      Second point: could this be a near twin? The near twin is deceptively similar to the twin and usually brings great pain and chaos like you describe. For near twins that have met many times before, signs of the twin soul relationship can manifest (like telepathy, synchronicity, etc.). However, this relationship is very difficult in that there is a lot of conflict, yet a strong attraction. There is a lot of separation and coming back, more so than in the twin soul relationship, and it can all seem very chaotic. Near twins are opposites of each other, not compliments of each other like the twins.

      Third Point: not all twins are meant to live out this life together. This relationship has many reasons, the main one being the growth of the soul. But sometimes, the twins are meant to meet for a certain amount of time, learn from each other, and then move on. They are supposed to move on and put what they learned to practice for the benefit of society.

      Not one God created the twin soul game, as you say. Think of it is the natural progression of creation, like when cells separate in the womb. Not one deity is responsible for how it works, it just is, it is nature. To the question of the intelligence of divine beings; then how would you do it? Maybe thinking and meditating about what you would do as a god, in detail, will provide another perspective.

      So, if you really want to disregard the connection, you can, but it will be difficult and painful. But it will also pass. I’ll write a more detailed post on how you can do this because you are definitely not the only one going through this and you are not the only one who doesn’t want this. There is nothing wrong with not wanting the connection.

      Some quick tips if you want to disconnect from the twin soul connection:

      1. stop researching the topic, stop reading about it, get rid of whatever you have that references this relationship
      2. stop focusing on the relationship and focus on the things you had before you found out about it (hobbies, career, etc.)
      3. either abandon your spiritual/religious path
      4. or humbly accept the challenges/lessons of your path, question yourself before anything else, meaning examine your life, and focus on it without referencing the twin soul relationship
      5. or come to terms with your situation, meditate on it, and then let go. Tell yourself and the universe that you do not want this, but be sure to not waver and to not have a glimmer of doubt about your choice

      So, G, I hope that somehow this is useful for you. Don’t give in to despair. Though the twin soul relationship is something beautiful it is not the center of the universe.

      1. Hi Melissa,
        This reply of yours to G is like finding gold.

        You cleared about Near Twins very well, (it chaotic and they are opposite and not complimentary is such a good point, though I don’t know about it very well).
        You also helped those who wants to shut down this.

        I understand these phenomenon are for our good and its all about learning.

        I personally believe if twin souls would have been together then they may achieve nirvana.

        Thanks Melissa

        1. Once again, Anasuya, you are very kind.

          You guys, the readers, will not always agree with me or see things the way that I see things, and that is good. That is very good, that is how we can learn and help each other. If we can avoid falling into conflict and still handle opposing/challenging views, then that is when we can gain the most insight, regardless of topic.

  5. I’m very glad I found your blog, it’s one of the few that goes beyond the superficial stuff about this connection, or the beginner’s stuff anyway. I found the entry that directly addressed the questions and conflicts I had concerning him and it really calmed me down. I met him in ’08. Up until then, I had been amazingly content and happy but like that song says, he turned my whole world upside down. I never believed in love at first sight and I stopped believing in soulmates (twin souls). I made choices and was very happy with those choices, and I still am, but he’s like this light in the corner of my eye. He makes me look away. I question everything I thought was true, like your articles say. I still don’t understand the purpose of meeting him when we can’t do anything with it. It seems like such useless heartache and pain, and it cheats the people in my life of the best of me. He runs and I wait, I feel as though enough is enough and he reaches out to me and my resolve disintegrates like cotton candy. It’s this awful dance I will never win.

    On the flipside, he fills my whole being up, especially when we’re in the same room, I sometimes think I feel his happiness, sometimes maybe even his love. I can’t describe how I feel when he looks at me, it’s like his eyes are deeper than space. There are so many similarities between our pair of lives. two letters one one of his license plates keep popping up for me and has for years, now lately I notice his last name everywhere, the most significant being when I was trying not to think of him and a truck made a left turn in front of me with his last name emblazoned on the side, big as life. And last week, he responded to an email, usually he says “yep” when agreeing with me but that time, he said “right”, which I thought was off and then I noticed the time stamp on the reply, which was 11:11. It has to mean something, I think.

    I could go on but ill spare you. I’m still trying to find the meaning and the acceptance that this is all I will have of him, that there is no grand finale to it. Your blog helps, so thank you.

    1. Hello M,

      Thank you for sharing and for your compliments. Comments like yours brighten up my days!

      Just so you know, the blog is sort of in a transition period; I’m moving the posts to that’s where any new posts are being published. You can subscribe over there and receive a newsletter.

    2. Hi there M,
      Your story is incredibly similar to mine.. the license plates, the letters, the truck thing, the filling up, how it feels when you make eye contact.. so if you want to stay in touch, maybe we could help each other get through the separation?…
      Warmly, Tina

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