Tag Archives: love and spirituality

Symbols: The Butterfly

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the-butterfly-of-apollo-.jpg.jpegThe butterfly is a beautiful, small, creature that carries on its wings messages of the universe. There are many ways a butterfly flitting by can be interpreted. Someone may say the appearance of butterflies in a garden is nothing more than nature proceeding through the motions of the seasons; it is only Spring. Someone else may say butterflies are just insects that are nice to look at. For another, a butterfly may be an omen, a message from divinity. The truth is, butterflies are all of these things; they are a sign of nature’s procedure, they are just insects, and they can be omens.

When seeing butterflies often and when it seems strange, like it means something, here are the things you need to pay attention to in order to decipher its significance and meaning: color, size, and behavior. You should also be aware of how you feel and your surroundings (Daytime? Indoors, park, garden, or sidewalk?). How you feel the moment you witness this omen, whether it is inanimate or breathing, will tell you a lot about why you are seeing it. For example, if you are walking down the street feeling a bit glum and suddenly a butterfly circles around you, it may be Spirit’s way of trying to cheer you, trying to tell you to have hope, to look around and notice what is good and beautiful. (Read this post to better understand how omens work.)

Butterflies are often a symbol of love and romance. We associate butterflies with the feminine, with softness, and with the blooming of Spring. That being the case, when the butterfly omen is recurring in your life it could signify femininity, beauty, gentleness, and so on. It may also be a reminder to put these things (gentleness, kindness, etc.) into practice. It may also be a reminder to appreciate beauty, both within and around you. In its blooming aspect, the butterfly can signify the beginning of something new. It can be a new romantic relationship or a new phase in life. It relates more to new beginnings and to phases that will pass quickly.

Most importantly, we have to remember that the butterfly was a caterpillar before it became what is presented before you. It is a simple fact and it may seem ridiculous to even mention it, but this minor detail can have profound meaning in your life. As from caterpillar to butterfly is a change, seeing a butterfly could signify a coming change, or that you are going through a change. But this type of change is more than that, more drastic; the appropriate word for this is transformation. So this means that you are either coming out of a transformation, or are currently going through one, or will be going through one and will come out lookin’ good and feelin’ free. For example, you may be feeling down, struggling with body image, struggling with feeling beautiful, or you may be going through something that has you feeling inadequate, dark on the inside, and depressed. Then the butterfly starts showing itself, calling your attention often. In a situation like this it may be a symbol of hope and encourage, a sort of reassurance and reminder that the result of the challenges and transformation will be amazing.

As it pertains to love, the butterfly may signify tender love and romance. Romance in the sense that you may feel inspired to write some love poetry or to show affection. It may also be an introspective sign of your longing for romance, love, affection, and a relationship. In order to distinguish which it is you have to pay attention to the butterfly’s behavior. Is it circling you? Did it almost land on you? Is it flying away from you? If it is circling you it could mean that love and romance is around you, approaching, and so on. If it lands on you or one of your belongings, it could mean that change is coming, that romance is in the future. If it is flying away from you (as butterflies naturally tend to do, but usually in cases like this intuition tells you there is some awareness, some consciousness, or something more beyond nature and what is perceivable causing the behavior. Plus, taking into consideration the previous synchronicities makes the butterfly’s movements seem significant.) then it could mean the romance, love, etcetera, is moving away from your life’s focus. It could also mean that you are striving for these things, chasing after them. Regardless of which meaning it could be, the butterfly omen is being sent as a way to cause you to reflect, to become aware of your state, how you feel, of what is happening in your life.

Another thing to consider when reading this omen is color. The color of the butterfly matters and affects its meaning. A black butterfly signifies an approaching death. Eerie as it may seem, in my experience, this omen has unfortunately never failed. In Central America, a large, black butterfly is an omen of death, especially if it enters the house and will not leave. I have had three experiences with such an omen. A white butterflies brings with it all the connotations attached to its color. White is often a color connected with purity and divinity. However, in some cultures white is the color symbolic of death. This is why omens are personal and everyone has to figure out his or her messages. Color interpretation is simple: red for passion, pink for love, yellow for friendship, and so on.

If you find yourself frustrated and confused, ask for guidance, ask for further explanation, for clarification. The universe will respond in a way that will help, but you have to be aware. Practice meditation and silence, receptivity, and that will make it easier to understand your world.

Namaste.

 

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Issues with the Phrase “Make Love”

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I read an article today from a men’s magazine. As I was rolling through my Flipboard feed the article came up. It was a Q and A article and the questions were from readers concerning various topics of sex. The first question was from a man who wanted to watch his wife have sex with another man. There were many issues I had with this article, but polyamory was not one of them. The author responded with, “if you really want to watch her make love to another man, then” and this is where something doesn’t sit well with me. The problem is watch her make love to another man. Here’s why:

Make love is euphemism for having sex with a partner. Words have meaning. I know this is redundant, words have meaning (we know!), but words have meaning beyond their literary and linguistic values. Words and even just letters have meaning. The weight of words and letters or syllables are often used in meditations and chants; for example, Om. On top of all of this, words acquire additional meanings, grammatically called connotations, which are the extra meanings we personally and as a whole society attach to words. This is why we should think before we speak and why word choice matters. Words have a conscious and subconscious reach to which we react both instinctively and deliberately. And so, using the word love commonly or when referring to acts that do not actually involve love, strips away its meaning and worth.

The issue is that in the example of the aforementioned article the word love is being used in a situation that is devoid of love. The example is this: A man wants to watch his wife have sex with another man. He explains that he is not gay or bisexual, but really gets excited/aroused when thinking of his wife having sex with another man. That is the mainframe of the situation and this does not include those other situations where a relationship may be established with another man giving shape to a polyamorous relationship. In this case, it is purely sexual and physical. In the case of this man and his wife, the wife would not be making love to another man, rather she’d be having sex with another man. Making this distinction is important in relationships because what if she does end up making love, meaning what if she does end up feeling love for this other person? How would he feel? Would she leave him? Would she be confused?

Sex is sex. Love is love. And then there is affection. These three things can sometimes come on strong and cause confusion in relationships, whether friendships or polyamorous. We can feel so much affection for someone that it begins to look like love, and in a way it is, but something about it feels different. To confuse things even more, there are different types of love (familial, romantic, etc.) So when the word love is used to describe a sentiment that doesn’t quite rise to the weight of the actual thing that is love, the word and idea become hazy and bland. You begin to hit a plateau in your mind concerning love and what it feels like, and it loses its importance which is why so many couples complain about the lack of spark in their relationship. So, it is not that there isn’t love but that your mind has become numbed to it because of overuse and oversaturation of a lofty concept that does not match your reality.

Making this distinction between love and sex is important for your internal wellbeing as well as for the wellbeing of your partner. This distinction is important to make not only in situations of threesomes but also within yourself when you are single and when with your partner. When with your partner you may not always want to make love, sometimes may just want to f***. And that is okay (highly recommended) and it does not mean that there won’t be love, just that the love energies are not going to be raised and it will be a more carnal session. Going into a sex session with certain expectations or expecting that every single time be an emotionally overwhelming and blissful event can breed disappointment when it doesn’t actually happen, making it seem like the relationship is losing its love when in fact it is just a different shade of love. There are different ways of experiencing bliss. There is the meditative bliss, the sexual/carnal bliss, and the romantic/love bliss. See, this is the problem with trying to categorize love and sexuality; there is overlap between the different aspects and experiences. Furthermore, the three blisses can be combined during sex, but it takes meditation and a deep connection to your lover.

In order to avoid confusion in your relationships and within yourself, reserve what matters to you and maintain it clear within you. What this means is that reserve the word love for those things or persons whom you truly feel something special for. Reserve those phrases of affection for those you truly feel affection for. In today’s society, and perhaps this has always and will always be the case, we are taught to mask our true feelings in order to be professional or friendly even when on the inside the contrary is happening. That new psychological trick of smiling even though you don’t feel like it to make yourself feel better will only dampen your experience, so that when you really do smile it will feel no different than your fake smile causing an emptiness to grow within. Be true to yourself and be aware of what you feel. Be aware of the mask you wear, when you wear it, and of the essence beneath it.

 

Namaste.

 

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Photo Credit: Melissa Portan