Tag Archives: soul mate

Twin Souls vs. Soul Mates: The Difference at the Beginning


“Zinnowitz Beach” by Adrian D.

What is the difference between a soul mate and a twin soul? For some, these terms are interchangeable. Some people use the term twin soul to describe any romantic relationship. And for others that have never heard of the term twin soul, they use the term soul mate for every romantic relationship. But, that is not the case. As always, I am also going to include the other perspective, and that is that such things as twin souls and soul mates don’t exist. But, I think that they do and I think using these two terms interchangeably causes confusion, misinformation, disappointment, and so on.

See, we are talking about love. Love is something intimate that every person experiences differently and that makes it difficult to talk about in broad terms. We’re trying to specify and categorize this huge, metaphysically gaseous thing and that is going to create grey areas. A certain points, soul mates and twin soul characteristics overlap and this can cause even more confusion.

But there is one easy way to describe the main difference of these relationships: soul mate relationships are easy while twin soul relationships are filled with hardship. Now, I want to be careful in explaining what I mean by easy.

When soul mate find each other there is an instant connection. They start talking easily. They have a lot in common. They have the same interests. For example, there is a bus stop. At the bus stop there is a woman waiting for the bus. Man comes around and also waits for the bus, taking his place two feet away from her. They look at each other, casually, and immediately and simultaneously each thinks and feels “Hey! I know you! How you doin’?”

So, when I say a soul mate relationship is easy I do not mean that the couple won’t have challenges. Soul mates, like everyone else, will deal with jealousy, hate, fear, and anything else life wants to throw at them. But what makes or shows the soul mate connection is that familiarity with each other.

On the contrary, when twin souls find each other it is a bit different. Let’s keep the same scenario to illustrate the differences. There is a bus stop. At the bus stop there is a woman waiting for the bus. Man comes around and also waits for the bus, taking his place two feet away from her. They look at each other, casually, and immediately and simultaneously each becomes tense. Something at the core of both twins tenses and each thinks “Woa! What am I doing in there?”

Each of the twins see’s herself or himself in the other and that can be unnerving. At first it is like a jolt of electricity that runs deep down the spine, deep into the very core of your soul. And it is like looking into the sun, blinding, blinding with truth. Each recognizes himself in the other and that is strange. What am I doing in there? Aren’t I here? In my own body? My god, we may have different bodies and have little physical similitude, but boy do you look like me.

This is the difference between the relationships at the beginning of each. Of course, each couple is going to experience its own beginning and each will come into their own knowledge.






Categorizing Love


When it comes to love, there is an obsession that overwhelms people. Almost everyone is searching for love. We all go about it differently. Some use online dating and now, dating apps. Others stick to traditional forms of finding love and use their friends, family, or leave it to chance. Somehow, we are all searching for love. We are always hoping to find that other person that will brighten our worlds that will make everything seem better, and even change us. Love has never been simple. Some might say that finding love used to be simple or easy, but really, that has never been the case. There have always been barriers to love, whether racial, or gender issues, religious issues, and so on. And then there are the barriers that we ourselves put up and keep love away. Regardless of where we stand, there seems to be a new focus when it comes to love.

With the advent of technology and these new dating apps, and with the overwhelming information on the topic of love, people are trying, perhaps more than ever, to categorize love. What do I mean by this? For example, in this log we talk about the different aspects of love and we also talk about soul mates, twin souls, and near twins. Just in this blog there are these numerous categories with various theories, ideas, advice, random thoughts, and critiques, and they are all related. If you search the internet for information on how to find love, you will get countless results. The mind, naturally, wants to understand things. The scientific mind wants to know everything and in its efforts it strives to categorize everything.

What is happening more and more is that people are hyper-focused on finding their soul mate or twin. And so what happens is that people begin to categorize their interactions, often dismissing relationships, or leaving a relationship. That is the problem with overly categorizing love. Really, there are no clear cuts in love. Love is an intangible thing that flows and intertwines itself through the universe. So, when we try to organize and untangle this massive, infinite thing, mistakes are bound to be made and confusion will ensue.Virmalised,_aurora_borealis_2 To understand love, imagine it is an aurora borealis just floating about. At which point do you say soul mates are here and twin souls are there? Where do we point to and say that is this type of relationship is and this is exactly what it is like every single time? Love is a flowing river of light. It is not sectioned off. It flows. It flows and that is why there is overlap between what a soul mate relationship is like and what a twin soul relationship is like. And on top of that, what a near twin relationship is like compared to a twin soul relationship. It is when we try to confine love, to separate and expertly distinguish love, that we get confused, lost, and hurt.

Another side effect of hyper-focusing on finding a soul mate or twin soul is the negligence of everything else. If you’re searching for your twin, that becomes your obsession, and you neglect the spiritual aspects of your life or relationship. This is hard to do in a twin soul relationship because it does not exist without some form of spirituality, but it does happen. For example, you might not meditate as much as you used to. You might forget to study about your specific form of spirituality and instead research everything you can about twin souls. And if you’re searching for your soul mate, you might disregard relationships because they don’t meet your standards and expectations. There are no clear solutions for this type of hyper-focus, for this obsession. However, I do suggest that you try to balance your life and your mind.

It is natural to fall out of balance, to every now and again become obsessed, overwhelmed, upset, hurt, etcetera. Being able to identify things and clearly state what they are brings comfort. That is what is behind our efforts to categorize love, because we want to understand it, we want to feel we have the upper hand when it comes to love. Love has been categorized since the times of the ancient Greeks. We should still study it, talk about, criticize it, and try to experience it. Yet we should not get so involved in our studies, in efforts to know exactly what love is, that we forget to actually enjoy it.




How to Attract Your Soul Mate


“He visto un ángel” by Andrés Nieto Porras

There are many ways to attract a soul mate. There are books that contain psychological methods and practical methods; like changing your hair, or wardrobe, or even how you move and speak. There are also books that contain spells and magical techniques to attract that soul mate. But both of these methods are ineffective; their results are short lived and unfulfilling.

For example, let’s say that you decide to change how you look. It doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman, gay or heterosexual, let’s say you buy a whole new wardrobe and you begin to use psychological techniques to flirt and so on. And so, you start to get results. You start a relationship with someone and everything is going great. You are liking the new you and so does this person. But then, you get to know each other more, you start to learn more about each other, and suddenly the fire and excitement that was there starts to wane. Suddenly, love is not there and then you think this is not your soul mate. Disappointment, sadness, and frustration ensues. Why did this happen? Well, because you were trying to be someone you really are not. When relationships begin or are based on falsities, it is bound to fail. But because a relationship failed it does not mean that we can’t learn something from it.

The second example is very popular in certain cultures: using magic to attract love. So, let’s say that you find a great spell to use on someone you really really like. You start doing the magical work and little by little this person starts to reciprocate your affections. A relationship starts and you are happy. But then, things in the relationship start to go downwards. You begin to fight and maybe there is even infidelity. You turn back to magic. This method is ineffective, harmful, deceptive, and negative. This type of love and happiness is not real. This type of love is an illusion, it does not even count as love because it is forced. You have to keep using magic and keeping the person under your spell to maintain this false love. Now, there are instances where magic can be used to aid you in finding love, but there won’t be any methods in this blog that are aimed to make someone love you.

So how do you attract your soul mate? I think it is a mixture of the aforementioned methods, but the right elements. It is not about changing who you are, but about uncovering who you are. And it is not about controlling love or making someone love you, but about letting love find you. Before you start trying to attract a soul mate, you need to be aware of a few things. Number 1 is that there are many different types of soul mates and that there are good soul mates and bad soul mates, or light soul mates and dark soul mates. (We’ll go into details on the light and dark soul mates in another post. Search the blog category soul mates, for more.) Number 2 is that you are number 1, meaning that you come first.

In order to bring into your life that special person, you need to put yourself first. It sounds a bit counterintuitive and selfish, but if you are a disheveled mess you will attract a disheveled mess; and be honest, is that what you want? There are different aspects to yourself. You are a physical being existing in this physical and solid world. You are someone who thinks, dreams, and hopes, meaning that you have mental and psychological faculties; it means that you have emotions. You have a soul. All of these different aspects of yourself require attention. (Read how love moves through these parts of yourself here.)

You’ll find that most of the advice offered on the topic encourages and insists that you be positive about finding a soul mate. Phrases like “Love yourself” are common and repeated ad nauseam. The truth is that sometimes we don’t love ourselves. Sometimes we hate who we are and how we look. The truth is that with everything going on in the world and with all the difficulties we may be dealing with in our day-to-day lives, it can get hard to maintain positivity. Sometimes in reading books that contain this type of advice one might get discouraged because it all seems so out of reach, because it seems like this type of love only exists in romance novels and lands of rainbows and unicorns. But you don’t need to be perfect or completely happy and fulfilled to find that meaningful soul mate. The last thing you need to be aware of, number 3, is your expectations. Being aware of your expectations, in turn being aware of what you want, allows you to find love in this present reality, allowing this love to last for a very long time once it is found. It means that maybe he won’t have that six-pack and that maybe her smile will not be perfect. But it also means that the right person will reach you and that you will be able to have a meaningful and loving relationship.

The most important thing is number 1 (technically number 2, but really it is you) and that means putting your life and yourself first. This does not mean that you start pushing people out of your way and running them over with your car. No, this means that you put your energy and focus into what you love to do. It means putting your life in order, organizing your responsibilities however you see fit and however you want to do so. Taking care of yourself also means letting go. You have to let go of the negative things in your life. Sometimes getting rid of certain negativity is not easy or possible. Simply analyzing and understanding why these things are in your life is enough and won’t keep you from your soul mate. Once you begin to fulfill yourself you will begin to see changes in your life. If you can put yourself first and no feel guilty or not over do it, the next step is to adjust your expectations.

The most common and dangerous expectation that people have when looking for their soul mate is that he or she will make him or her happy; that once that special person is found everything will be better and good. This way of looking at things is unrealistic and dooms everything. The truth is that just because you found your soul mate it does not mean that everything will be an eternal sunshine. Soul mates face challenges like all other relationships. Another person cannot fix what you have inside, not unless you fix it yourself. At most, your partner can point out the dark spots within you. And that is both good and helpful.

In order to find love sometimes all that is required is for the heart to wish for it. That is where it all begins, in the heart.


Namaste, friends.



Photo Credit: Melissa Portan

Photo Credit: Melissa Portan