Photo by Melissa Portan
Wholeness. What is it and what does it feel like? You look at a fruit, say a mango, and it is raw, encased by its yellow-redish skin, protected. The contents of the mango, the good stuff, is all inside, safe, untouched, whole. The mango is in its natural state. The mango has reached maturity, an age where it is ready, and the mango is whole. Be a mango! (I’m kidding.)
Wholeness, for us humans and unlike fruits, comes from the soul. I think a large portion of our lives is spent not knowing who we are or what we want, or even being aware of those things but not fulfilling them. Wholeness is when who you are and who you want to be are the same.
At our original and natural state, meaning at the point of our metaphysical existence, we are complete. At the original birth of the soul, we are whole or complete. For every person, the moment his or her soul came into existence somewhere in the vastness of the universe, varies. For some people it may be hundreds of years ago, others thousands, and for some even less. And so, when talking about wholeness or thinking about it, you have to be aware that there are different levels of wholeness, different levels of completion.
At the highest level of completion in the spectrum of love sits the love that many search for, the love that can lead to ascension (remember that there are other ways to ascend). The idea of twin souls and soul mates suggests that each person is missing half or a part of himself or herself. In a way, if at that distant origin point of existence where our male and female sides are unified is then separated, giving form to the twins, then the idea of incompletion and striving for wholeness makes sense. What is confusing and difficult to both understand and explain is that though both parts of the whole have been separated, in other words, both elements have been separated, each part is indeed complete. The feminine part is whole, it exists as an independent and complete thing. And the masculine part is also whole, existing independently and as a complete thing. So, when this separation happens, two new consciousness are not created, but separated. But, always, the impressions of the other part, of the other soul and consciousness remains, and it creates deep longing. And so, what many end up doing is searching for that other part, for the better half, for that other person that will complete them. But the twin soul is not the solution for wholeness. Just because you find your twin soul does not mean that you have or will achieve wholeness. Because the twin soul relationship happens in stages, there are many rounds of separation, until they each realize that they have been whole the entire time and until it is time to be together.
Everyone makes the same mistake. Everyone, regardless of if they are searching for their twin or soul mate, makes the same mistake. At some point, everyone thinks that finding the perfect partner will make them feel whole. Thinking like this will either lead to a life of serial relationships or to a life of constantly feeling incomplete. Twin souls especially make this mistake and everyone that knows about twin souls comes into it believing that the other twin will complete them, that once they have found their twin they will have made it and that is that. This is a painful mistake many make that amplifies the difficulties of the of the twin soul relationship. Because the twin soul relationship is like a rock climbing marathon, filled with rock slides, occasional plateaus, fatigue, and pain.
In searching for love, there is almost a desperation to feel comfort. What comfort? Sometimes we don’t really know, but it is a comfort that we somehow know exists. Not everyone is searching for their twin and maybe not everyone will reunite with their twin. And sometimes the search for love becomes a purely physical search, leading to a deeper feeling of longing or emptiness. Feeling alone in this world is scary. Love makes that feeling go away.
In soul mate relationships wholeness can be reached. Many already strive for wholeness but instead call it independence. Nowadays you hear many men say they want a woman who is independent and can take care of herself. More and more people are looking for a partner that will be able to hold his or her own. In every relationship, whether twin soul or soul mate, wholeness is about having that independence. Having an independent identity and existence allows for the mind and soul to expand. And this can lead to harmony. So wholeness is not only a concept, but a way of life. Each person living his or her life. Each person being who they want to be.
“Early Morning Fishing” by Ian Prince
But what does wholeness feel like? And can you lose it? Wholeness doesn’t necessarily mean bliss. When you become whole it is because you become fully aware of who you are. You can see things clearly, you can look at yourself clearly, and you are comfortable with what you don’t know. We don’t live in bubbles of perfection. Life is dirty and hard. We are complicated beings, most of the time unnecessarily so. And so reaching a state of awareness and wholeness does not guarantee bliss. Before wholeness comes awareness. Right? First you become aware of who you are. Then you feel and think about who you really are. And after that, after thinking or meditating, you can begin to act. Once you put yourself in motion and move towards bringing your true self into reality, you can achieve wholeness. It happens little by little. Sometimes it is hard, painful, and sometimes you take five steps backwards. But once you reach a place where you feel complete, and this feeling is independent of financial stability and relationships, you can feel peace, even blissful. At the state of wholeness you can see the beauty in the world even when it is all falling apart. This is all great and it can all be lost. Like I said, life is not easy and certain situations demand sacrifices. Feeling whole and in a state of inner stability can be shaken by many things in life, childbirth, death, financial difficulties, relationship difficulties, and so on.
The hard part of wholeness and awareness is that it can sometimes feel like an illusion. For example, you’re in a relationship and everything is good. You feel whole, happy, and in love. But then, the relationship ends and you each separate. Suddenly, that wholeness is gone. Suddenly, you feel like you are missing something from deep inside. It is naturally and not a sign of weakness. We love and we become attached to each other. Remember that there are different levels of wholeness. The wholeness experienced in said example was real, is real, and it can be recaptured. Now the challenge lies in figuring out how to do it on your own.
Love, relationships, they are all difficult. Wholeness is inner harmony. Harmony and peace are two slightly different things. There is harmony within, meaning that you are aware of the bad/negative within you and you are working positively to counter it. Harmony requires opposing factors working together and wholeness is the result of inner harmony. Wholeness is embracing everything that is within, working on it, and letting go. It is a cycle.
And as you go through your own stages of wholeness, you become a little more spiritually awake. Awakening is another term that many misunderstand as being a single event. It happens in stages. Awakening happens alongside your moments of struggles, pain, happiness, deep thought, meditation, anger, frustration, and sadness. Because the more awake you are the more you know, the more you are aware. Being awake in spiritual terms means having knowledge of the world that exists beyond this physical world. And there is so much to learn, to experience, and see, that awakening is preferably continual.
Love spurs us to awaken, to become whole, to carry on despite the pain, burdens, and challenges. If you want to reach your state of wholeness, if you want to start your awakening, if you want to find that special person, start from within.